I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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