There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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