that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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