I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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