She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
