That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's