I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole