There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
