Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?