Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.