I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
