yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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