Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
