I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
