I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
