I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
