I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
