How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize