I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
