found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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