i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
