I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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