You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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