I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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