Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
