What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
