I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
