well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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