i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
