These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
