how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
