Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
