And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
