in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
