Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
