I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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