there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
