Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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