in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
