i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
