Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
