Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
