I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
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I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
do nipples grow back?
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