They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
