I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
