He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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