I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
