he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
