it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
