I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My bed smells like the plague
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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