Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
