Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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