guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
