Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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