im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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