my mouth tastes like poor choices
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
