a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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