Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
