i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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