It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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