a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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