This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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