im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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