I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
