But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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