maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
