I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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