Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
