Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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