oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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