I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
