He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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